our supernova: a vignette

Our Supernova: A Vignette

 

Our star was

on the main sequence—

in other words, unremarkable.

She was pressure powered

and needed hydrogen to survive.

Perhaps that’s why

we absently

let her collect matter:

she piled atoms

until abruptly the sun

snapped her main string

causing a mess

of yellow yarn

to collapse

covering us in her

unraveled dream-

a sweater never finished.

 

8 billion light years away

another system sees the flare

undoing us, alone.

 

They squint up at her one night:

 

How ancient. How beautiful. How sad

we cannot pull

those golden cords

into our sky.

 

 

 

2 Comments

  1. I really like this poem! I personally think it’s hard to create a metaphor that can go throughout the poem and I think you did a nice job.

    I really love:

    “and needed hydrogen to survive.

    Perhaps that’s why

    we absently let her

    collect matter;”

    I like the way you ponder like ah maybe that’s why we did that. I wish I knew slightly more about the person, who is this star? I think her struggle with pressure is a very relatable feeling. Powered by pressure is very powerful because it’s a different type of power, a different type of motivation. I really think it’s strengthens the metaphor for the star.

    I think the fourth stanza is a little weak, but it’s possible that it is because it’s right after your strongest stanza. Part of me also wonders why the last stanza is italicized? Personally, I think italics should be used sparingly and for emphasis, but I think to each their own. Just think about why you’re doing that and try to convey it to the reader.

    Overall, I think this poem is great and I love the metaphor.

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